The Adventure is Over

My doctor did a routine physical for me a couple of months ago. My blood pressure was up to 140/90, with cholesterol skimming around the 250 marker.

Despite all the reassurance in the Atkins book that this diet would not adversely affect either of those numbers, plus the fact that I had not been actively following the Atkins plan ever since starting to teach at the New York Summer Music Festival this past summer, these numbers put the permanent brakes on the Atkins Diet Plan for me forever.

My doctor informed me that the best way to treat high blood pressure and high cholesterol was to:

1. drastically increase cardio exercise
2. drastically reduce animal fats in my diet
3. reduce salt in my diet
4. reduce caffeine
5. lose weight
   

I may be simply drawing unfounded corroberations here, but my cholesterol didn't jack up past the 200-mark until AFTER trying out the Atkins Diet a few years back. Though granted, I had been eating astonishingly poorly for quite a few months, exulting in gorging on the ballpark food at Shea and Dodger stadiums, New York Pizza, and home-broiled T-bone steaks. And of course the incredible oyster sashimi at the Sushi House of Taka, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Okay, it may not be at all due to the Atkins Diet that my BP and Chol were suddenly lousy. it could simply be due to my bad eating habits and utterly sedentary lifestyle. maybe . Possibly.

But my doctor certainly recommends laying off the steaks, butter, chicken skin, pork rinds, and other Homer Simpson foods. Which conveniently are all Atkins-approved. So farewell, Dr. Atkins and your radical approach to nutrition, eliminating all highly-processed sugars and grains from one's diet, and thusly removing much of the joys of eating!

Adios Atkins Adventurers. I thought it was fun ... but I think I was sadly mistaken.

Keisuke Hoashi
Retired Atkins Adventurist

Day 46: the Psychology of Eating Atkins

It's nearly impossible to believe, but Atkins Gal and I have been on Round 2 of the Atkins Diet for over six weeks now.

Latest results: the lowest my scale has read is all the way down to 182.5 pounds, nearly ten pounds lower than when I started. I'm still having some problems wearing some pants (a few pairs of khakis are still cutting off circulation and causing uncontrollable trembling), but some of my once-snug tee shirts are comfortable again.

What is truly surprising, though, is the renewed enjoyment I've found in eating. Last time we did the Atkins Diet, I felt lots of resentment at the dietary restrictions. I eventually became desperate to cheat as much as possible, consuming gigantic amounts of sugar-alcohol/zero net carb chocolate bars, and grumbling every time I stopped myself from eating a hamburger bun or slice of toast.

That was my failure last time. I allowed myself to get all self-righteous and sneery over the restrictions, rather than accepting and just dealing with the limitations.

Going with that latter option has simply made eating much more FUN. Instead of bemoaning the lack of bread, gravy, ice cream, pizza, cookies, bagels ... well, instead, I've been boggle-eyed at the giant oyster mushrooms, shiitakes, new york strip and T-bone steaks, broccoli, various greens, sashimi ...

You get the idea. Some may consider it to be simple spin-doctoring, or playing head games, or even outright lying to myself. But it's really just dealing with my own choices. I chose, along with Atkins Gal, to change my diet, and genuinely agreed with myself to deal with any possible consequences.

So I can look at a box of cookies and not feel wistful, or a sack of bread and just shrug at it, or a pile of rice -- brown, white, yellow, or barely recognizable -- and just forget about them as I enjoy the rest of my meal.

The grass is just as green over here as it is over there.

Been Shopping

Though the low-carb craze is supposedly over, you can still find a lot of products at the local grocery store -- at least you can in Los Angeles. We went to Ralph'sa bout an hour ago and picked up a wide variety of 2-net and 3-net gram granola bar things, plus a Dreyer's Mint Chip ice cream, 4-net grams per serving.

The Mint Chip ain't bad at all. The question will be, can we restrict ourselves to an actual serving? I grew up in a Fat Bowl household. Re-teaching myself appropriate portion size isn't easy.

Well. I shouldn't still be up, but Atkins Guy is getting nostalgic over last year's tax receipts, and all the lights are burning in our apartment. We're listening to classical music, which is meant to be good for digestion. Which is funny, because right now my stomach is sounding like a tympanum...

RECIPE: STEAK AND BOK

Two t-bone steaks
1 giant oyster mushroom, cut into large chunks
10 shiitake mushrooms, sliced
6-10 baby bok choi, sliced
Garlic salt, fresh ground pepper, rubbed sage, parsley flakes
Olive oil (if desired)
Mustard
Butter

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Place all vegetables into a large roasting pan. Sprinkle garlic salt, pepper, sage, parsley, and mustard over all. Do the same on both sides of steaks (thought without the mustard). Broil about 5 minutes or until you get a nice dark color, then flip and broil up to another five minutes (depending on how rare you like your steak). Remove steaks and let rest for a couple of minutes on a plate.

Replace pan under broiler for two or three more minutes, which chars some of the thinner bok choi leaves. Remove from broiler.

In a large saucepan, melt 1 tbsp butter. Add 1-2 tbsp mustard. Add contents of broiler pan and sautee for two minutes.

Serve immediately.

Need. More. Meat.

Atkins is going swell. I feel like I'm losing weight, though the scale's only showing between 3-5 pounds of weight loss, all of which might be water. Who knows.

I'm back to being hungry again, though. Though to be fair, it's only happening at night. Atkins Guy and I are so busy with work that it's not uncommon for each of us to skip or skimp on breakfast, forget lunch (until around 3 pm) and graze for dinner. That's why it was so nice that he made that awesome meal tonight. I'd been getting a little tired of hamburgers.

By the way -- our quest to find the Best Hamburger in Los Angeles is moving right along. Can't speak for the Guy, but the Gal has a ranking system in place thus far, and here it is:

1. Apple Pan
2. Hamburger Hamlet
3. Fatburger
4. Carl's Jr. $6 low-carb burger
5. In & Out's "Protein Style"

We both enjoy AstroBurger, but we haven't had one without the bread yet, so I'll reserve judgement. Looking forward to trying Cassell's -- I hear it rocks.

RIP to my former favorite, Mo' Better Meaty Meatburgers.

RECIPE: SAUSAGE & PEPPERS & STUFF

Another delicious, messy, Atkins-friendly recipe from my fertile brain (and the random contents of my half-emptied fridge):

ATKINS-Y SAUSAGE & PEPPERS & STUFF
3 medium green peppers
1 lb sausage (any flavor)
3 stalks celery with tops
1 bunch scallions
1/4 head chinese cabbage
1 tbsp butter
1 large bay leaf
dash of red wine vinegar
3 slices prosciutto, chopped
provolone cheese, sliced or chopped

1) Chop the vegetables into large chunks. Slice the sausage into large pieces.
2) Melt the butter in a large saucepan under high heat. Add the sausage, saute until browned.
3) Add the celery and cook for two minutes until soft. Add the scallions, peppers, and chinese cabbage, and bay leaf. Cover and cook, stirring occassionally, two more minutes.
4) Clear a space at the bottom of the pan, and put the prosciutto there. It will cook through in just a few seconds. Add the vinegar and stir. Cover and cook until the peppers are somewhat soft, three more minutes.
5) Remove from heat. Serve in shallow bowls and garnish with chopped provolone.

Atkins Gal gave this new recipe the taste bud stamp of approval. Actually, she just reminded me that she actually "raved" about it, and declared that we should have this meal every week. Makes me feel brilliant. Enjoy.

REVIEW: ATKINS CHEESECAKE

Flavorless and textureless.

Atkins Gal and I were having dinner at The Cheesecake Factory last night, and on our pager (which the restaurant gave us to hold while waiting for a table) sported a double-sided advertisement reading:

ONLY 6 NET GRAMS OF CARBS! CHEESECAKE MADE WITH SPLENDA©!

After almost ten days of induction, we gave in readily to the delightful notion of having a real dessert.

It looked like real cheesecake. It smelled like real cheesecake.

It felt, poking it with a fork, like whipped tofu. And it tasted like nothing. Oh, it was sweet, and the thin brown crust on the bottom had some pieces of some kind of nut mixed in, but there was no way anyone could possibly mistake that slice of white stuff for cheesecake.

I think I'll broil myself up a steak tomorrow night to help me forget the disappointment. Ah, the trials of Atkins eating.

AN ORIGINAL ATKINS RECIPE

An unexpected creative facet of this Atkins thing is increased resourcefulness. With such severe limitations on ingredients, soups and stews seem nearly impossible. Yet I achieved just that yesterday: a brand new recipe for chicken celery curried soup, which was amazingly tasty and a welcome change from the all-meat-protein diet.

CHICKEN CELERY CURRY SOUP
2 cups chicken stock (pref from real stock, but canned is passable)
1 tbsp butter (if stock is canned)
1 cup celery, cut into 1-inch pieces
1/2 cup fresh spinach
3 bay leaves
3 peppercorns
1/2 tsp thyme
splash of vinegar
a few drops of soy sauce
2 tbsp curry powder
sour cream

Toss all ingredients (except curry and sour cream) into a pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cover, stirring occassionaly if you really want to, for 20-40 minutes. Stir in the curry powder and cook another couple of minutes. Serve hot with a dollop of sour cream. And careful not to choke on the bay leaves or peppercorns.